it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
