I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
