I got chris browned last night
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
