she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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