dude i'm inner monologue high
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize