I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
