I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
