this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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