I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Panties = found
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
