hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
