So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
