Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
