I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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