New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
