he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
