my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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