Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
