well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize