Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
