he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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