let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
