Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
