btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
