I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
