One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Send help, water and tortillas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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