So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
