Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
