you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
