I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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