I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
