I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
