Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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