Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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