no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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