is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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