How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
