Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
