I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
