How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
