I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
