He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
