Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize