I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
