Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
