it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
