just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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