her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
