i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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