nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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