Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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