Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
