Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
