i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
