I'm so fucking centered right now
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
