i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
