Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
