Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
