I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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