That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
