my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
