she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
