There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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