I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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