I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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