Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
