you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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