You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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