is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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